Blago Scores Book Deal

OK, pardone mi Francais por minuto, but what in the fuckity-fuck-fuck-fuck is happening in the publishing industry? First we hear Dubya is shopping for a book deal. Then we get word Laura “Pickles” Bush has nabbed one herself. Ditto Karl Rove. Just recently we learned Condi had landed herself a three-book contract. And now Rod Blagojevich (see him vogue-ing above left), the dethroned, scary-haired Illinois governor, has apparently landed a six-figure deal; his first book will be published by Phoenix Books in October.

WTF???!!!??? Don’t writers actually write books anymore? Look, I’m all for reading books on politics, but c’mon! Books on and by interesting political figures are right up my alley. But what the hell is Condi going to write three books about? What could Blago possibly have to say that he hasn’t already vomited up all over the airwaves?

Well, according to his publicist, his book will be about “the dark side of politics”. Heh. Makes sense.

The book is also expected to cover how Balgojevich named President Obama’s successor in the Illinois Senate, which Blago still says he never tried to sell to the highest bidder. In fact, he’s planning on sharing with us exactly what went down, to the point that it “will at times be embarrassing to himself as well as to others.” 

Please. Like anything could be more embarassing than that hairdo.

 

Story Source  Yahoo  |  Image Source  College Media Network

March 2, 2009 | Filed Under Newsies, Politics | 643 Comments 

Former Administration to Write Books

Who knew they could even read?

I kid, I kid.

It seems the whole gaggle of Bush’s recently-departed team have decided to write memoirs.

Laura Bush just signed with Scribner, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, to pen her life story. It’s slated for publication in spring 2010. “I am very pleased to be associated with Scribner, the distinguished publishing house of many of my favorite books,” the former First Lady said. “I look forward to working with Scribner and the Simon & Schuster team as I tell the stories of the extraordinary events and people I’ve met in my life, particularly during my years in the White House.” Mrs. Bush, a former librarian, has long been a literacy advocate and book nut.

Republican Karl Rove, Dubya’s former adviser, is also on tap to write his story. He has signed a $1.5 million contract with Threshold Editions, another Simon & Schuster imprint. ”All of us at Threshold are thrilled to publish the book from the man who had the president’s ear for two terms,” said Threshold publisher and executive vice president Louise Burke said.

Both Mrs. Bush and Rove are being represented by superstar Washington lawyer Robert Barnett, who negotiated their contracts (<snark comment> and I’m sure got them just what they so desperately need: even more money! </snark comment>). Barnett also represented President Obama and former President Clinton when they penned their books.

Condoleeza Rice has confirmed that she will start slinging the ink, too. The former Secretary of State — herself represented by the illustrious William Morris Agency – will be meeting with publishers to discuss multiple book projects, including a memoir of her service in the Bush administration. Details are sketchy, and all talks are in the early stages.

How much truth will actually be included in these books is, of course, debatable. I just hope Mrs. Bush throws in a recipe for opossum.

 

Story Sources  Politico, breitbart.com, Yahoo  |  Image Source  lies.com

January 21, 2009 | Filed Under Biography & Memoir, Newsies, Politics | 15 Comments 

Poets Celebrate Obama

In honor of Barack Obama’s inauguration as the 44th president of the United States, I thought it would be appropriate to share a few poems written for the occasion by some of our foremost poets.

First up, a piece by Alice Walker, the brilliant mind behind such books as The Third Life of Grange Copeland and The Color Purple, for which she won the Pulitzer Prize.

The World Has Changed

The World Has Changed:
Wake up & smell
The possibility.
The world
Has changed:
It did not
Change
Without
Your prayers
Without
Your faith
Without
Your determination
To
Believe
In liberation
&
Kindness;
Without
Your
Dancing
Through the years
That
Had
No
Beat.
The world has changed:
It did not
Change
Without
Your
Numbers
Your
Fierce
Love
Of self
&
Cosmos
It did not
Change
Without
Your
Strength.
The world has
Changed:
Wake up!
Give yourself
The gift
Of a new
Day.
The world has changed:
This does not mean
You were never
Hurt.
The world
Has changed:
Rise!
Yes
&
Shine!
Resist the siren
Call
Of
Disbelief.
The world has changed:
Don’t let
Yourself
Remain
Asleep
To
It.

 

Here’s a poem by Billy Collins, Poet Lauretate of the United States from 2001-2003.

Launch

A boat is sliding into the water today
to test the water and the boat
which glides down a grassy bank
the prow touching the wavelets
then another push
and the length of it up and buoyant
the tapered length of it floating
toward the middle on its own
as we watch from the shore
pointing to the heavy clouds coming in
from every side
but now above us only the sun’s golden rafters
and the boat afloat
out there on the bright surface of the water.

 

Finally, Julia Alvarez, the author of How the Garcia Girls Lost Their Accents and In the Time of the Butterflies, has written a powerful, untitled poem for this historic event:

The land was never ours, nor we the land’s:
no, not in Selma, with the hose turned on,
nor in the valley picking the alien vines.
Nor was it ours in Watts, Montgomery–
no matter what the frosty poet said.
We heard the crack of whips, the mothers’ moans
in anthems like an undertow of grief.
The land was never ours but we believed
a King’s dream might some day become a deed
to what we did not own, though it owed us.
(Who had the luxury to withhold himself?)
No gift outright for us, we earned this land
with sorrows currency: our hands, our backs,
our Rosas, Martins, Jesses our Baracks.
Today we give our land what we withheld:
the right at last to call itself one nation

 

For more inaugural poetry fabulousness, visit the AP.

 

Story Source  The Associated Press  |  Image Source  CBC

January 20, 2009 | Filed Under Newsies, Poetry, Politics | 16 Comments 

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      The Snark is a creature created by Lewis Carroll in his poem "The Hunting of the Snark". To give a proper description of Snarks, one must look no further than Carroll himself, who summed them up in one word: Unimaginable.

      But this much we do know: some have feathers, some have whiskers. Snarks sleep a lot, yet they are an ambitious lot -- with very little sense of humor. They love bathing-machines and tend to bring them wherever they go; they are also handy for striking a light. Snarks live on a far-off island, a place filled with chasms and crags, and are constantly on the lookout for Snark-hunters. Their mortal enemies are hope, care, thimbles and forks.

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