Your Love Life in Six Words

Last year, Smith magazine published a fascinating collection of six-word memoirs, inspired by the one left behind by Hemingway (”For sale: baby shoes, never worn”). On my other blog, I wrote a handful of my own condensed autobiographies. Among them:

-Passionately, I lived, loved, hated, died.

-Wanted to be Bea Arthur. Failed.

-Spent too much time answering phones.

-Read with abandon. Glimpsed God there.

-Met Meryl, but never banged Brody.  (Note: Booksnark looooooves him some Adrien Brody. Like, dayum and yum.)

-Alas, I am just too much.*

(*Thanks, Bette Davis. I stole that line from a Barbara Walters interview she once did.)

Now the fine folks over at Smith are at it again, asking writers to describe their love lives in tiny little six-word epics. The results range from hilarious to heartbreaking and are presented in a new book, Six-Word Memoirs on Love and Heartbreak by Writers Famous and Obscure. Here’s a sampling of some of the entries:

If I get Chlamydia, blame MySpace.
- Hanorah Slocum

Will government ever let us marry?
- Viki Marsh

Silently suffered his facial hair experiments.
- Elizabeth Minkel

Tried men. Tried women. Like cats.
- Dona Bumgarner

Leap of faith. Shit, no parachute.
- Katherine Yunker

Inevitably, his obituary didn’t mention me.
- R. Sue Dodea

Read more and listen to the full story at the NPR website.

Story Source  NPR

February 11, 2009 | Filed Under Authors, Biography & Memoir | 4 Comments 

The Literary Shitlist

SB Sarah over at Smart Bitches, Trashy Books has written an excellent post about what she terms the Never-Buy Line. The Never-Buy Line is that invisible line we all draw when we say, “<INSERT AUTHOR’S NAME HERE> has really fucked up, and I’m not reading any of his/her books EVAHHHHHHHH AGAIN!!!” (it is imperative you say EVAHHHHHHHH AGAIN in your best Alexis Carrington voice). The fuck-up in question could be of any variety: the author has expressed an opinion you don’t like, the author has confessed to plagiarism, the author has confessed to backing over a toothless hillbilly’s shack with her Hummer, the author has admitted his cat, Sprinkles, is the mastermind behind his USA Today-bestselling novels. Whatever the reason, the Never-Buy is reserved for authors you won’t read, either ever again or ever at all.

Sarah mentions an excellent example of an author she would Never-Buy because of the author’s stance on homosexuality. I’m not going to link to the author in question here, or even mention her name, because homegirl is batshit crazy and ass-backwards in her thinking (visit SBTB to read the filthy details), but I proudly admit that I am with Sarah on this one (as I usually am): I will never, ever read that author. It isn’t about not giving the author money; it’s not even about the fact that the author has stated on her website her views on homosexuality: it’s about the proclamations of so-called “morality” and “good Christian ethics” that she clearly feels are intrinsic to her character, which means it affects everything she does. Even the books she writes. Especially the books she writes. And I’m not supporting them, financially or intellectually. And I ain’t readin’ ‘em.

In the same vein, I won’t read or buy Stephenie Meyer, and I am ashamed to admit that I saw the film version of Twilight. Not because I hated it (surprisingly, I didn’t), but because Meyer is Mormon (which I didn’t know till after I saw the movie). She is a devoted Mormon, in fact, and a part of being a good devoted Mormon is tithing a certain amount of one’s salary to the Mormon Church. Which means Ms. Meyer directly supports the church’s initiatives through her tithes — one of which, of course, was Prop 8. Let’s make it clear: Meyer has never made a public statement on this issue one way or another. But does she really have to? She’s a gazillionaire, and if she’s giving 10% of that to the Mormon Church every year, a lot of her money is going right into the hands of some really repulsive church initiatives. All I know is that I am not adding to Ms. Meyer’s gazillions.

There are, of course, other authors I would Never-Buy. Some for political reasons, others because they just aren’t my style, and still others because I find them shady. The list isn’t terribly long, but there is indeed a list. My literary shitlist.

How’s about you? Who’s on your literary shitlist?

 

Story Source  Smart Bitches, Trashy Books  |  Image Source  Risto Pakarinen

February 9, 2009 | Filed Under Authors | Leave a Comment 

John Updike, 1932-2009

Two-time Pulitzer Prize-winning author John Updike has died of lung cancer at a hospice near his home in Beverly Farms, Massachusetts. He was 76.

Updike was a prolific novelist, short story writer, poet, and critic. His books include A Month of Sundays, The Witches of Eastwick, Couples, In the Beauty of the Lilies, Too Far to Go, and the acclaimed Rabbit Novels — two of which, Rabbit is Rich and Rabbit at Rest, were awarded the Pulitzer Prize in Fiction. Rabbit is Rich and The Centaur also won National Book Awards. He released more than fifty books in his fifty-year career.

After graduating from Harvard, Updike briefly studied painting at Oxford University before accepting a job at The New Yorker. A short story collection, a book of poems, and his first novel soon followed.

Updike is celebrated as a writer who had his fingers firmly on the pulse of suburban disillusionment. Indeed, he often minutely examined the ups and downs of suburban life, shedding light on the everyday events that shape us. He once wrote that his career goal had been to “give the mundane its beautiful due.”

He is survived by his wife Martha, four children, and three grandchildren.

 

Story Source  The New York Times, Wikipedia   |  Image Source  Issue Management

January 27, 2009 | Filed Under Authors, Newsies | Leave a Comment 

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      WHAT IS A SNARK?




      The Snark is a creature created by Lewis Carroll in his poem "The Hunting of the Snark". To give a proper description of Snarks, one must look no further than Carroll himself, who summed them up in one word: Unimaginable.

      But this much we do know: some have feathers, some have whiskers. Snarks sleep a lot, yet they are an ambitious lot -- with very little sense of humor. They love bathing-machines and tend to bring them wherever they go; they are also handy for striking a light. Snarks live on a far-off island, a place filled with chasms and crags, and are constantly on the lookout for Snark-hunters. Their mortal enemies are hope, care, thimbles and forks.

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